Seriously, Dad, give it a rest.

I wouldn’t say I was ever particularly interested in how you met my mother in the first place. But if it was a quick, funny little story I guess it would be good to know. Maybe I could tell my kids one day, or get a crappy college essay out of it or something. But this is ridiculous. Do you realize you’ve been telling my sister and me how you met mom for 7 GODDAMN YEARS?! Seven years, Dad! In that time we’ve had two Presidents, three Kardashian weddings, and like eight Middle East revolutions, and yet somehow, you’re still going. I’m really starting to hate you, Dad. Like, in a way that’s going to be hard to change.